The Maze of People-Pleasing – A Journey Through Maya’s Story

It had been a few days since my recent presentation on people-pleasing, a subject that resonates deeply with many. As I reflected on the feedback and insights shared, I couldn’t help but think about Maya, a character I introduced during the session. Maya’s journey mirrors the struggle so many of us face – the internal tug-of-war between wanting to be liked and yearning to be authentic.

In this blog post, I want to revisit Maya’s story, but this time with a little twist, and offer a coach’s perspective on her journey. Let’s dive deeper into the maze of people-pleasing and explore how we can navigate it to reclaim our voice.

Maya’s Story: The People-Pleaser’s Maze

Maya was always the first to say yes. Whether it was her boss’s late-night requests or her family’s expectations, she felt an almost magnetic pull to comply. Her calendar was filled with obligations that weren’t hers, yet she wore herself thin, trying to meet them all. The fear of disappointing others loomed large in her mind.

One day, Maya found herself sitting in her coach’s office. She had reached a breaking point, feeling both exhausted and resentful. Her coach, a calm and insightful guide, asked her a simple question: “Maya, when was the last time you said no?”

Maya thought for a moment, but the answer didn’t come easily. She couldn’t recall. Saying no felt like stepping into quicksand — scary and risky. The coach gently probed further, asking her how she felt about the decisions she made in recent weeks. Maya hesitated before admitting that, most of the time, she felt trapped. Her decisions weren’t her own.

As her coach listened, she introduced the concept of boundaries. “Maya, imagine you are in a maze. You’re constantly turning corners, trying to please everyone. But what if you could build walls to guide you? What if those walls were boundaries, ones you set yourself?”

This metaphor clicked for Maya. She had been navigating the maze of people-pleasing for so long that she had forgotten she could choose where she walked.

Coaching Insight: The Power of Setting Boundaries

As a coach, I often encounter clients like Maya who find themselves entangled in the web of people-pleasing. They lose themselves in trying to meet the expectations of others, often at the expense of their own well-being. What they fail to realize is that they have the power to change the narrative.

One of the most empowering tools in coaching is helping clients recognize their agency. Maya’s journey is a powerful reminder that we don’t have to remain stuck in the maze. By setting clear, intentional boundaries, we can reclaim our voice. But it starts with awareness.

During our session, we explored Maya’s triggers. What made her say yes when she wanted to say no? Was it fear of rejection? The need for validation? Once we identified those patterns, it became easier to create strategies that allowed Maya to pause, reflect, and decide from a place of strength rather than fear.

The Coaching Approach: Navigating the Maze

As Maya’s coach, I didn’t offer her a map out of the maze. Instead, I helped her see that she had the tools all along. Here are a few strategies we worked on together that may help you too:

1. Recognize the patterns – Understand why you feel compelled to please others. What stories are you telling yourself that make you say yes when you mean no?

2. Set small boundaries first – Start by saying no to smaller requests. This will help you build confidence in your ability to protect your time and energy.

3. Pause before responding – When asked to do something, take a moment before you answer. Give yourself time to assess if it aligns with your values and priorities.

4. Communicate your boundaries clearly – Be honest but kind. People respect clarity, and when you set firm boundaries, they are more likely to honor them.

Maya’s Transformation: A Work in Progress

Maya’s journey is ongoing, as it is for many of us. People-pleasing isn’t something we overcome overnight. It’s a habit that’s deeply ingrained in our identity, but it can be unlearned.

Through coaching, Maya started to recognize her triggers and began setting boundaries that made her feel more in control of her life. She realized that saying no didn’t mean she was letting others down — it meant she was prioritizing herself.

As a life coach, I believe that the process of reclaiming your voice is one of the most rewarding journeys you can embark on. And while it may be challenging at times, it’s worth every step.

Final Thoughts

If you, like Maya, find yourself caught in the maze of people-pleasing, remember that you have the power to create boundaries. It’s not about shutting people out, but about allowing yourself the space to breathe, to be heard, and to live authentically.

I hope Maya’s story inspires you to take a step back and reflect on your own journey. If you need a guide to help you navigate your way, I’d be honored to walk that path with you.

Until next time, remember — your voice matters, and it’s time to reclaim it.

Disclaimer:

The name “Maya” is a character I use in all my stories and does not refer to any real person. I chose this name because “Maya” means illusion, which resonates deeply with me and adds a layer of meaning to the narratives I share.